Your New Council’s First Meeting……….

Tonight we had our first new council meeting. The following are 10 observations:

1. It will be a long 4 years for Bob if tonight is anything to go by. I counted 4 yawns and a head nod before it was even 6pm.

2. CAO john Brown actually has an Irish accent not Scottish. George Wills will be spinning in his grave.(he is also not called Rob) :)

3. Kevin Lloyd set the tone early by voting against a no brainer motion from Brian Saunderson (8 -1). It was to have some local input into the upcoming strategic plan. (Oh he is gonna be so much fun).

4. It was actually kind of nice to hang around after the council meeting tonight. Shoot the shit with some of the councillors and discuss some of the issues. I am normally running out of that place like a scalded cat. What a concept!! Open honest dialogue. Good for this town. Bad for this blog.

5. CAO John Brown did his very best impression of a State of the Union address tonight. He dealt with the towns finances. The funny thing was the numbers sounded very much like the numbers that Chris Carrier was touting during the election. SAY WHAT??? Someone was stretching the truth during an election campaign??? I have never heard of such a thing.

6. After the address to council from John Brown. My head did a quadruple take as Kevin Lloyd started to spout fiscal bromides like “I must commend the CAO for the excellent job he did with this report. It’s time to get our fiscal house in order”. WTF!!! Did I just miss something here? Did he and his cohorts not just run an election campaign based on the fact that they paid down debt and their excellent financial stewardship?

7. I said it before and I will say it again, Bob is the consummate politician. He sought me out after the meeting tonight to tell me he had a Che Guavera t-shirt for me. How the f**k did he know I have always wanted one of those things. Uncanny!!! Bob keep that for me I’m coming down to pick it up.(You still got first mention on this blog though).

8. Cam needs to talk a little further away from the microphone. Just Sayin!!

9. We all figured the meeting tonight would go on until around 7.30 to 8pm. It was finished by 6.45pm. Done and dusted for Christmas. I guess when you don’t have Chadwick making clever quotes every 5 minutes in Latin and Hurricane Sandy mumbling incoherent nonsense about every motion, it’s fairly easy to get things moved along.

10. I must say Sandra did a pretty good job tonight. This might work out after all. She kept her mouth shut when she needed to and kept the proceedings moving along with very little obstruction. Keep it up Sandra I will always give credit where credit is due. She does need to be a little more magnanimous though. Before the council meeting she came into the viewers gallery to do some meet and greet. When she got close to Berman and I, she ran away so fast, it was like she was being chased by the “Zombie Apocalypse”.
I was very impressed by this councils first meeting. And this “Asshole” does not impress easily.

Your chance to vote for 2014 (Not)The Order of Collingwood Award:

Your Official Ballot for the (Not)The Order of Collingwood Award – The Golden Assie:


Editors Note: I am deeply honoured to be nominated for this prestigious award, in this the inaugural year of the Golden Assie. I was completely verklempt with emotion when I heard this exciting news.

(Not) The Order of Collingwood Award Nominations Requested

On 5th January 2015 at the mayors levee. The 2015 recipient of the Order of Collingwood will be announced. Not to be outdone by the lowly Town of Collingwood VFAN with some very minor, minuscule behind the scenes help from Berman, has decided to do our own version of these awards:

(NOT) The Order of Collingwood Award or Ass-ies for short.

The recipient of this award will receive a golden statuette in the shape of a horses rear end, plus a wall plaque personally signed in felt pen by Steve Berman and “Nobody”.

Please forward your nominations for this award in the comment section below. I have a couple of nominations myself:

1. The asshole in the black Bimmer 720i with the vanity plate EAT SHTT who nipped into a parking space in front of Freshco as I was trying to back in on Thursday evening. He gets a special mention, for the expletive laden barrage he gave me, after I honked my horn. (You know who you are!!!)
2. Ian Chadwick for his Facebook rant at a local restaurant owner just prior to the last election. This most certainly lost him his council seat but we at VFAN think he would be an excellent candidate for this award.
3. OK to save one of you wags from doing it I will also nominate myself. For my continuing service in this community to Asshole-dom.

After I receive all of your nominations we will put it to a vote. The winner of this prestigious award will be announced at a special corned beef dinner to be held at Normie’s Place, date to be announced in the near future. The winner will probably be written on the back of one of the empty cigarette packets that are abundantly available at this locale.

This Hour has……….. A Bunch of Pompous, Elitist, Assholes!!!

I was sitting in front of the TV the other night, not really paying attention to what was on. I was more interested in what I was doing on my computer. The cheese ball “This hour has 22 minutes” show was droning on in the background. I can’t stand it and never find it funny. I was about to switch it, when an attractive blonde lady came on and was saying something about oil prices and Alberta, which immediately piqued my interest. The screen went to a Welcome to Alberta road sign and there was a mashed up version of the “Welcome Back Kotter” theme song playing.

The premise of the skit was to make fun of Alberta and the problems it is about to face as a province, due to the falling price of a barrel of oil. I was actually quite disgusted by the whole thing.
I didn’t catch all of the words as I was still only half paying attention, but I did wonder what they meant by “Welcome Back” in the skit. So I searched for it on YouTube then viewed and listened to it again here:

Yes that is canned laughter not real. Am I missing something here? Does anyone find this type of thing funny? I guess they meant welcome back to the economic reality of the rest of Canada. A little rich don’t you think? Considering that this crappy TV show is produced by a company called DHX Media based in Halifax, Nova Scotia. A complete economic basket case of a province that has been a net receiver of transfer payments from the economic engine that has been Alberta for the past 10 years or so, and prior to that Ontario and BC. Nova Scotia has never stood on its own two feet within confederaration economically as a province. This show is paid for and subsidized by the CBC, which would also be a basket case broadcasting company, if not for the $1.2B subsidy per year it receives from, yeah you guessed it, indirectly through transfer payments from Alberta.

I know a few people from Collingwood, that have made it through some very difficult times by getting on a plane and working in the oil patch. I also know that many hard working people from the Atlantic provinces kept their families clothed and fed by working in Alberta. This type of thing is classic pompous, elitist, snobbery of the worst kind. They don’t want that dirty Alberta oil and want nothing to do with those redneck hicks from Alberta. But they certainly want the revenue from them to support their public service jobs and social programs that they could not afford if not for transfers from Alberta.

Can you imagine the uproar if the skit and song were about a Windsor car plant closing or a New Brunswick ship yard shutting down. I have news for these pompous twits at the CBC and this crappy show, where Alberta goes the rest of the country follows very quickly. The province has been the economic engine of the country for a number of years now, so what is bad for Alberta is very bad for the rest of Canada. By the way the economic reality of the rest of Canada is mainly the result of the tax and spend policies by successive Liberal and NDP provincial governments. Take Saskatchewan for instance 10 years ago after many years of successive NDP governments, it was one of the worst economic sink holes in Canada, I constantly heard “the last person to leave Regina turn out the lights”. Brad Wall of the right of centre Saskatchewan Party became Premier in 2007. He introduced a myriad of changes to the way the province does business. It now has the highest GDP in the country, the lowest unemployment rate and people are lining up to move back there again. I personally would like to see THAT model as the economic reality of Canada. Not what these socialist stooges at the CBC think should be the economic reality.

Running out of places to hide…………

Over the years, I have lived under some pretty bad political administration’s. The Edward Heath and Jim Callaghan governments in the UK of the seventies. Bob Hawke’s incompetent Labour government in Australia of the eighties and the kleptocratic Glen Clark BC NDP government of the nineties immediately come to mind. All of these governing bodies ended up driving me out of those respective jurisdictions. Nothing, ladies and gentleman, beats this current Ontario Liberal Kathleen Windbag administration, in arrogance and incompetence.
The latest boondoggle is another $900M of blown taxpayer money thrown down the drain in extra costs associated with the installation of 4.5 million smart meters across the province. Auditor General Bonnie Lysyk in her annual report regarding the way the provincial government spends our money, was quite damning saying: “The Energy Ministry did not do a cost-benefit analysis before cabinet approved the Smart Meter program.” She also said “Its projected net benefit of $600M was overstated by at least $512M. The Ministry has neither updated the projected costs and benefits nor tracked the actual costs to determine the actual net benefits.”

Normally when a government is faced with a report of this nature. It will make statements after the fact like: “We will try to do better in the future” or “ We take Ms. Lysyk”s report very seriously and will start an immediate investigation into her concerns”. But no, not with the arrogant Windbag et al. She immediately trundled out her trained seal Energy Minister Bob Chiarelli who said “The electricity system is very complex, it’s very difficult to understand.” I’m surprized he didn’t add “ Now you get back in the kitchen Miss Bonnie and bake me some pie. Leave the complicated stuff to us menfolk”. Note to Mariane: Now is the time to do a blog about this sexist asshole. (Does any of the above remind you of a similar local situation just before the last municipal election?)

Even the “Red Star” was railing about his “sexist remarks”. Am I starting to sense a little buyer’s remorse coming on? Well that feeling is sure to gather more traction when February’s provincial budget comes around. Windbag and her other trained seal Sousa must be licking their chops at the current low gas prices, or should we say “low hanging fruit”. I predict a 5 cent per litre rise in provincial excise tax on gasoline. Windbag will tout this as another feel good green initiative, and because the price is below a dollar a litre, none of you will even notice. That is until the Saudis get sick of dumping oil onto the world market and ease back on production, and we are back up to $120 a barrel oil again. This will all be long forgotten when we are paying $1.50 a litre at the pump and that tax has been frittered away with all the rest of our hard earned provincial tax money. Also, with three and a half years left in their mandate, now will be a perfect time to put an extra point on the HST. To bring us into line with the other liberal controlled basket cases of Quebec, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. I cant blame Harper for not wanting to meet with Windbag. She’s like one of those trust fund kids, pissing away her money on partying and fancy clothes, then going back to the parents because she can’t make rent.
I had a good belly laugh the other day when Windbag and Sousa were rolling out their new provincial pension plan (another provincial government sinkhole). Lecturing us about our fiscal irresponsibility of not saving enough for our retirements. Like they are the true purveyors of financial prudence. Here’s a thought if they would stop pissing our tax money down the drain and taxing us into oblivion, to pay for their incompetence and corruption. Maybe we could save for our own retirements. This is sure to get the wheels back on track in Ontario’s sputtering economy. Another $1,000.00 payroll tax for small and medium sized businesses to absorb.

Now where is my map? Maybe it’s time to start planning another exit strategy. I hear Moscow is nice in the springtime………

The First VFAN Caption Competition

You asked for, nay demanded a Caption Competition folks and VFAN is here to serve you my loyal readers. The idea is I post a picture and you fill in the caption in the comments section below. We will start with this picture of Sandra getting familiar with a hard hat and workmans ladder. This weeks prize for the best caption is a years free subscription to this VFAN blog.


………”Yeah I fixed everything in town with the last council, so nothing really left to do. So I’m giving Steve a hand with the painting down at Mountain View Towne Centre.”