The Enemies List Redux


I was reading some of my old posts last night and was quite pleased at how much I have improved (yes believe it or not this is an improvement) in the past year. I stumbled across this post:

https://viewfromanobody.wordpress.com/2013/07/20/that-damned-mosquito/

Which led me to a blog post that Chadwick wrote called “The Enemies List”.
I decided to reprint the second half as a blog. The first half is such a stretch of the imagination in its comparisons of Stephen Harper to Richard Nixon and actually going so far as to say that Mr. Harper is more scheming and more manipulative than Nixon ever was. I won’t make you trudge your way through that partisan drivel and let you get straight to the “Meat and Potatoes” of the post which has a local connection. This is one of a few posts, that Chadwick has published in the past year, where he inadvertently lets his guard down. You actually get to see what makes this man tick politically. I know that many of you make a concerted effort to avoid his meanderings, but please take a couple of minutes to read it. It’s entertaining and very insightful.

The following is an excerpt from the “The Enemies List” published by Ian Chadwick on Scripturient July 19th 2013.

So what, I wondered, would that list look like if Stephen Harper were somewhere else. What if he became the mayor of Collingwood, right now… who would be on his enemies list then?

I think his list would read something like this:
•Paul Bonwick. Main crime: being Liberal. And not only that, we was a successful Liberal MP. Accomplished things. Gained renown and respect. Successful businessman since leaving politics. Unforgivable.
Secondary crime: he’s related to Sandra Cooper.
•Anyone associated with Paul Bonwick. Relatives, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, people who work in the same building, people he passes on the street, or bumps into in the coffee shop, anyone within 50 lines of his listing in the White Pages. Tainted by Liberalism, the lot of them. Heads must roll.
•Anyone associated with anyone associated with Paul Bonwick. We can’t be too careful. Liberalism may be contagious. Consider town-wide incarcerations.
•Sandra Cooper. Not only is she also a Liberal and Paul Bonwick’s sister, she is a mayor. Liberal mayors are in a separate category of enemy, like one of Dante’s circles of Hell. She has spoken aloud and in public against our minions, whom we must protect. Treasonous behaviour.
Secondary crime: soft on authoritarianism. She hasn’t spied on any of her staff’s or council’s emails, nor has she made a single presentation on behalf of a developer. In her entire time as mayor, she didn’t put a single one of her MP’s junk-mail flyers on the council consent agenda.
•Ed Houghton. A man who golfs with Liberals is clearly a threat to society. Besides, he oversaw the sale of the town’s electrical utility and not a dime of those funds was funnelled into the local Conservative party treasury. How else can we pay for all those senators if not by graft?
When he was acting CAO, he implemented a socialist administrative scheme he called the “executive management team.” Autocrats don’t have teams, they rule by divine right, and get things done by shouting at inferiors. Never trust a leader who asks for advice.
Besides, he makes jokes. Leaders don’t encourage inferiors to laugh. You never know when they might be laughing at you, not with you.
•Rick Lloyd. Being a Conservative won’t save the Deputy Mayor. He didn’t find any way to pad the local Conservative coffers in the town’s budget, so that was a black mark. He didn’t check the political allegiance of the companies building the new rec facilities and probably voted to grant a contract to a non-Conservative. Another black mark. Always check allegiances before raising the hand, Rick.
Secondary crime: He knows Paul Bonwick, so is a guilty Liberal by association. He’s also been seen having coffee with arch fiend, Councillor Chadwick, a double whammy.
•Kevin Lloyd. Don’t try to tell us that the councillor isn’t related to the deputy mayor. Look at their names! They vote together, like Siamese twins joined at the shoulder.
He voted for the new rec facilities despite strong opposition from our local minions. Besides, he owns property in the socialist organization, the BIA, and has never spoken out against them.
He has consorted with the deputy mayor at local coffee shops. Guilty by association. A closet Liberal if ever these was one.
•The Collingwood Connection. Local media outlet that has proven balanced, objective and fair. This is not the media model we prefer. Where are the ad hominem attacks, the innuendo, the allegation, the misrepresented data, or the imaginary figures masquerading as facts? The slurs against Liberals? The castigating letters from our minions? Clearly this is a Liberal rag that can’t be trusted to toe the party line.
•Dick Hill Former mayor of Inuvik, retired here. Outspoken against the inanities of local bloggers, and stands up in the media against falsehoods and verbal abuse. Can’t have that. What would happen if everyone in town spoke out? It would be anarchy. Or Liberalism. He sets a bad example.
•Larry Irwin: Being quiet, apolitical, unassuming,easygoing and competent is no excuse. He sued a minion for defamation. If everyone was allowed to sue these bloggers for their lies, their innuendo and their petty attacks, they might get shut down. When people stop cowering and fight back against injustice and stupidity, the whole plan goes awry.
•Steve Assaff. A Liberal developer. What more do you need to know?
•Dale West, Mike Edwards, Sandy Cunningham. These town councillors collectively voted for the new rec facilities which our minions protested. That makes them enemies of the state.
They have done nothing to denounce Paul Bonwick or the Liberals this term, either. And they laughed at Ed Houghton’s jokes (a sign of mental and moral decay).
•John Brown. Acting CAO hired to get things back on track in town hall. Dangerous because he appears competent, has no political allegiances and shows common sense. That makes our minions look bad.
Besides, he was hired by Liberals. Better file a passel of pointless FOI requests to keep him too busy to interfere with our plans.
•Ian Chadwick. Anarchist, iconoclast. Reads books. Can spell words like egregious and excoriating without a spellchecker. Dares to comment on social media. Plays the ukulele (an instrument developed by Communist plantation workers). Stood up to former mayors and challenged bad process. He once shook hands with Jack Layton (greater men have been hung for less). He does contract work for Paul Bonwick (working for Liberals is unmitigated evil: better to be unemployed).
Clearly not a team player. Thinks too much to be allowed to remain on council.
•Georgian Manor. The resort owners spoke out in favour of a casino, taking a stand against our minions. This makes them enemies of the state, too. Besides, they once offered Paul Bonwick some contract work. That Liberal taint, again. Raze it to the ground and salt the earth.
•Town Hall Staff. They have failed miserably at undermining council’s Liberal agenda despite urging from our minions. Councillors remain at large and continue to confound our plans. Staff were warned: obey the bloggers or suffer eternal damnation. The torments of Hell await unless they start doing our will.
•Voters. Anyone who has ever put a Liberal or NDP campaign sign on their lawn or even opened their door to an opposition candidate. We must eliminate this scourge. People should vote for one party only. Ours. Any other option is socialism. Vote as we tell you. Our minions will direct you for the upcoming municipal election.
•Swimmers. Our minions oppose the new swimming pool. Until it can be torn down, anyone, young or old, who uses it will be deemed a saboteur, wrecker, oppositionist, Menshevizing idealist and Liberal Trudeauskyite. Round them up at the pool entrance. Confessions will be required. Names will be posted on minions’ blogs as a warning to others.
•Elvis Festival. Everyone involved must be purged. Doesn’t matter how successful it’s been, or how popular it is. I don’t like the music. Therefore no one can like the music. Too many people have fun during the event. Our minions are ignored for days until it’s over. Besides, rock & roll and dancing are the devil’s work. Close it down!

There would be more, of course. Many more. Facebook friends with Lloyd or Chadwick? On the list you go. Follower on Twitter? You get added. Sit on a board or committee with them? You’re probably plotting to bring down civilization with your Liberal friends. On the list with you all. Bought flowers in Lloyd’s shop? Sold a ukulele to Chadwick? Or even just ukulele strings? Listed. Ask the mayor to cut the ribbon for your new business? Laughed at Ed Houghton’s jokes? Hummed an Elvis tune? Listed.

Of course, these criminals and Liberal sympathizers will probably think being on Our List is an honour. But no matter. We’ll make them sorry they ever wore the colour red.

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