Steve Berman sent me a list of things to expect from the lame duck last council meeting on Monday 24th November. Not to be outdone by Berman I decided to do my own list as follows:
1.Rick Lloyd will start the proceedings off with a rendition Fredric Chopin’s Funeral March:
2. Sandy Cunningham will make a statement replete with pauses at just to right moments, to add to the gravitas of his solemn, heartfelt words. To the effect of “It’s been great working with SOME members of this council, but a couple of others can kiss my ass. And by the way how’d you like that trick I pulled in the election campaign? Suckers!!!”
3. Kevin Lloyd will propose a motion for his bloc buddy’s to pass, which will look something like this: Whereby the councillor that gets the least amount of votes in any past or future Collingwood Municipal election will forthwith sit next to and on the left hand side of the Mayor. The third lowest will sit in the viewer’s gallery. The rest of the council can sit where they want on a first come first served basis. This motion is retroactive prior to 27th October 2014.
4. Ian Chadwick will make a long winded statement that will include quotes in Latin, Mycenaean Greek, Coptic Egyptian. No one in the council chamber will know what any of it means, but basically it will say this: Everyone in Collingwood that didn’t vote for me is an idiot. Anyone that did vote for me, but cannot understand a word I am saying, is even more stupid that those that didn’t vote for me. Plus a pox on Steve Berman’s house, his family, his friends, his relatives and anyone that has ever liked anything on his Facebook page, retweeted one of his tweets, or read one of his blogs.
5. Mike Edwards will put in his custom made prosthetic open eye inserts and will catch his normal 40 winks until Chadwick nudges him to vote yes on the Lloyd motion.
6. In the Community Announcements part of the proceedings: Dale West will announce he has taken up juggling, while riding a unicycle and donning a bright yellow suit with purple polka dots and a bright red nose. He will be doing this outside town hall every Monday evening (weather permitting) while all future councils are in session. Donations will go to the “Send Dale to the Circus Foundation”.
7. Keith Hull will make a statement thanking everyone, it’s been a pleasure blah, blah, blah, and Sandra Cooper will immediately jump in and say: “You are ruled out of order this was dealt with in a previous meeting…………… then Rick Lloyd will whisper in her ear “Um he is saying goodbye”.
8. Joe Gardhouse will stand on his chair moon the rest of council and laugh just a little too loudly.
Here is Steve’s List:
1. Motion by Sandy Cunningham to create the Collingwood Council Hall of Fame. Recommendation that he, Chadwick and Rick Lloyd are in the inaugural class.
2. Point of Tenure declared by Chadwick. He refuses to give up his seat on council, citing a little known amendment to the Municipal act, that only he is aware of.
3. Motion by DM Lloyd, that he stay on as the defacto Pubic Works rep, seconded by Ian Chadwick w/ a friendly amendment that includes him in the same role with the Library.
4. Motion to re-name the EcDev building, the Kevin Lloyd Economic Development Building. (in camera, Kevin will request to attend all future council meetings by Skype, from his new office in the KLEDB, as he simply refuses to sit next to Deb D for the next 4 years)
5. A motion declaring this council the “Best. Council. Ever”