1. The following people, not necessarily in any order: Ian Chadwick, Steve Assaff, Rick Lloyd, Kevin Lloyd (Angry Man), Sandra Cooper, Fast Eddie Houghton, Paul Bonwick (The Godfather). Anyone that voted for our feckless mayor.
2. On a hike yesterday I put my styling brand new (bought on 12th June) Maui Jim sunglasses on my hat temporarily, while I was in the Grotto. Then I forgot all about them for half an hour, until I realized they had gone from my hat, never to be seen again. (This one really frosted my grandmothers preserves).
3. The owners of “Elsie” the Australian Shepard cross, who did not have this naughty dog on a leash on the Georgian Trail. So while out on my run the other day, as I passed them with a nod and got around 10 meters ahead of them, “Elsie” jumped out of the bushes and decided it would be a great lark to try and herd me, completely ignoring the shouts from her delinquent owners. She ran circles around me and was bumping me in the arse with her nose. I stopped a couple of times and in my sternist voice telling “Elsie” to f–k off. I was starting to get close to Osler Bluff Rd and as much as I was starting to detest this mutt, I didn’t want the incompetent owners, who were around 500 meters behind by now, to lose their dog for good. (Dog lovers might want to avert there eyes right now). So I gave “Elsie” a swift kick up the rear end and sent her scampering back to her feckless owners.
4. The lady (Camp Site Nazi). Camped in the site next to ours this weekend. My buddy and I took our two daughters and four of their friends camping over the weekend for my youngest’s birthday. We had only just arrived not even unloaded a tent peg, when Camp Site Nazi walked over to our camp site. Here’s how the conversation went:
Camp Site Nazi: You know you are only supposed to park one car on each of these sites.
Nobody: We paid for an extra spot here’s my parking pass.
Camp Site Nazi: Well you have one extra person on this site than what is allowed.
Nobody: Well it’s my daughters birthday……….
Camp Site Nazi: Well you better not make a bunch of noise we have had a lot of problems with noise in this site.
Nobody: You have a nice day now maam. (But the bubble above my head was thinking there is probably a perfect camp site for this lady just outside Tuktoyaktuk).
5. The workers on Hume St a week ago who failed to inform me that Raglan St South turn was closed from Hume so I stumbled in to the labyrinth that is now the Hume St reconstruction project. I tried to turn right on Raglan North – closed. Peel Street – blocked by one of Rick Lloyd’s gravel trucks. Ended up doing a right on Minnesota St and was 15 minutes late for a meeting at my office on Sandford Fleming Dr.
6. The cop with the shaved head hiding behind a tree at the Collingwood roundabout, shooting fish in a barrel as motorists approached the roundabout with that stupid speed limit that is in place there. I know that he is only doing his job but did he have to look like he was enjoying it that much? I’m not sure if he realizes this but he is merely a glorified tax collector.
7. In fact with the amount of cops trolling our streets these days, it’s starting to feel a bit like a police state in our quiet little burg. More tax collectors.
8. That little smirk on Steve Assaff’s face that says F–k You I’m going to do what I want when I want to.
9. The lady with the initials PS that made a complete ass of herself on the closing night of the Stuffed Pheasant, in the restaurant and along Hurontario St. Someone should teach her the virtues of moderation 🙂