THE 2015 COLLINGWOOD TOWN COUNCIL BOBBLE HEAD COLLECTION:
After the sell out success of last years bobble heads. VFAN has just received, direct from the sweat shops of Shanghai; The 2015 Collingwood Town Council Bobble Head Collection, just in time for Christmas. They are the perfect stocking stuffers for the political junkie in your life:
Mayor Sandra Cooper:
This bobble head comes with an interactive blackboard and chalk, which allows you to emulate Sandra’s election campaign tactics. All you have to do is write random amounts of money on the blackboard and the doll will say “We lowered the debt by that much”. The pitch of the toys sound track gets higher the bigger the number you write. If you write a really big number it will say “Chris Carrier left us with that amount of debt”.
Note: Optional Pinocchio nose, that grows larger the more the toy speaks.
Deputy Mayor Brian Saunderson
This bobble head comes with a shoe box full of motions and proposals. If you suffer from insomnia this toy makes a great naturopathic sleep aid.
Tim Fryer
Comes with “Tim Fryer for Mayor 2018” play set. Option for this toy only: Special Collingwood spending calculator, it doesn’t matter what numbers you punch into it, it will always read $0.
Mike Edwards
Nothing, zilch, nada, included in the box with this bobble head. To celebrate the contribution Mike has made to Collingwood politics over the past few years.
Cam Ecclestone
This toy has a sound track saying “I’m Cam Ecclestone pleased to meet you”. It will say that no matter how many times it is placed in front of you, just like the real thing. It’s like meeting your new toy for the first time every day.
Kathy Jeffery
This was a difficult one. VFAN could not think of any additional swag to include with this bobble head. But it does come in a very bland box with no fancy pictures or writing on it. What you see is what you get with this toy.
Deb Doherty
This Bobble Head has a repetitive sound track that interacts with the Kevin Lloyd toy. It says “It was your council and your voting bloc that allowed that to happen”. Over and over again.
Note: VFAN takes no responsibility for injury caused if Kevin Lloyd’s bobbling head explodes through over use of this feature.
Bob Madigan
Comes with handy toy fold out camper bed, so this bobble head can catch 40 winks while your other bobble heads talk about boring council stuff.
Also available but not included in the box, a disposable camera for photo ops if you happen to leave your toy around other important celebrity bobble heads.
Councillor Kevin Lloyd
Our VFAN team of developers have pulled out all the stops with this toy. It has different anger settings as follows:
Light Pink – Slightly irked.
Dark Pink – Pissed off.
Crimson – Mad as a hornets nest.
Purple – Apoplectic.
All you have to do is put the Deb Doherty Bobble Head in front and dial in the appropriate anger setting.
All the above bobble heads and accessories are in stock and available from behind the bar at Normie’s Place, cash only please. Your purchases will handed be to you in a non descript brown paper bag. Proceeds from sales go to the “Send a Blogger to Cuba Foundation”.
Hey I went down to Normies. The guy behind the bar gave me plastic bag full of smokes and a six pack of Old Style. What gives? Merry Christmas Colin!!!
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Sorry Cathy you have to actually talk to Normie. Merry Christmas right back at you.
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Good stuff. I find myself strangely attracted to the the Deb Doherty bobblehead, while Cam Ecclestone’s looks about as useful as the average mutual fund. And Mike Edwards does resemble Einstein, but without any decent theories (as you said).
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Bill,
When the Cam doll arrived I was a little disappointed that it looked a little like Ted Kennedy. If the truth be known I think my Chinese supplier Mr. Liu just sent me Bobble Heads that were left over from other orders.
Have a Merry Christmas Bill. Or is it Bunkertoad???
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I work for Bunkertoad. He’s an ass, but he does let me use his computer sometimes.
Watch out for those cheap chinese bobbleheads! I’ve heard they have led in the paint!
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Ah that’s what the story is!!! Thanks for your contributions this past year Bill. Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
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You are freaking hilarious. How do you come up with this stuff Colin? Merry Christmas and looking forward to reading this blog in 2015.
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Thanks Hazel you keep reading I’ll keep blogging. Merry Christmas.
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Happy Festivus!!!
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Merry Christmas back to you Bud.
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I guess one of the benefits of not getting elected is…. no bobble head for me!
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Not so fast Rick. I have a bobble head for you, just have to figure out how to use it. Merry Christmas.
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Very creative 🙂 thanks for the morning chuckle 🙂
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Being called creative by you Shirley is tall praise indeed. Have a Merry Christmas and see you on New Years Eve.
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Too funny,and there is some truth in there as well. Thank you for the early Christmas Gift 🙂
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Merry Christmas Susan.
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